I am not a lacky band

Written by: Dianne Edmonds Posted on 08 Sep 2013 0

How much can a woman’s body stretch? During pregnancy we can expand both in our capacity to grow a child inside of us, as our uterus grows, our abdominal muscles and the skin outside stretches and expands. If the growth occurs too fast, like when our baby has a growth spurt, our skin can expand too quickly, and we can get stretch marks. These are left as ‘scar’s for some women, or gentle reminders of how lovingly we have grown a baby inside. Abdominal muscles can also stretch and expand – too much and we get a separation of our muscles that then needs to be worked on and support provided to help it to come back together.

In motherhood, as a woman, how much can we expand? We can expand to accommodate another child if number 2 or 3 or more comes along. We can stretch a meal to feed more people if we need to, we can squeeze another little person in a bed for a snuggle and read “just one more story” when we draw the bedtime routine out just a little longer at a child’s request.

But sometimes we can feel, that we are being stretched, just that little too much. “How much more can I bear?” we can ask. “How many more loads of sheets, towels, nappies and clothes need to be done this week, or even today?” “How can I still be needing to go to the shops when I have already been three times this week?” “How much more toilet paper do we need, I thought I just bought some?” Well that is getting to be a bit of a stretch, but do you ever feel like that? Like you are being stretched just a little toooo much or, a LOT too much?

If so, you are not alone. Millions of women all over the world are suffering the challenge of womanhood, of giving out and not feeling satisfied, at the stretch their life has become. Sometimes we’ve tipped the balance and overstretched so much that we have snapped! Like a lacky band, we have so much give, but if we give and give and give, then we will become a very stretched mum. Like an overstretched lacky band won’t be able to do its work or be useful for anything anymore, if we are overstretched, will we be able to either?

Do we need to learn to recognise the warning signs early of a tired mum who needs to go to bed early this week, even just once, if someone else can get up to the baby or toddler, or do the dishes? Can we be given a break, even for ten minutes, to do one small thing for ourselves? Can we have an hour, to refresh, go outside for a walk, to the gym, shops, coffee shop, to lie down or to take a quiet bath or shower?

Is this a reason why so many women have hormonal imbalance, are feeling challenged, tapped out and not satisfied? Dr Sara Gottfried talks about women ‘over-providing’, where the constant giving of too much, leaves our cup unfilled, and our fuel tank empty?

How full is your fuel tank or cup today? Take a moment to notice where it is.
Is there a possibility of drawing back just a little from over giving, so that if like a lacky band, when you feel stretched, you can recognise it, take the tension off, and take time to recover?
One small thing today, that I did learn this week to reset the nervous system was to breathe in for the count of 4 through my nose, and to breath out for the count of 8, out through my mouth, and to repeat this 5 times. This is one way to reset the on / off switch during a stress moment, and comes from Lisa Byrne’s new book called Replenish, for mums.

I’ve learned a lot from Lisa this week, after hearing her speak with Dr Sara Gottfried in an interview recently.

So if you need a reset yourself today, take a slow deep breath in for the count of 4 through your nose, and breathe out for the count of 8, out through your mouth. Repeat 4-5 times.

And, like any tool, if you find this useful and want to become skilful at it, continue to practice it until it is something that you can use when you need it.

Let us know how you go in using this tool - does it help you in some of your motherhood moments? Do you have any other great advice or tools that work well for you to help other mums in their mummy moments?

Please share below, we would love to hear from you.


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