Is Anyone Listening

Written by: Dianne Edmonds Posted on 08 Nov 2012 1

Many years as a physiotherapist have been spent listening to women, who have felt like no one is listening. As a mother and wife I can understand and relate to the times when it seems like you are not being listened to. Deep in your heart there is often that inner need that is not being met, that source of life that you can tap into that makes your eyes spark and your passion stir. But when it’s partly shared, and not heard, it’s like a flicker of a flame that starts to light up and could start a good fire with warmth and generating energy, but at that very point, it dies down and fizzles out. You may spark up again sometimes but after a while, exuding that passion inside becomes an effort, if no one is listening. For some women, I think, this is the giving up of themselves, and their passions and their dreams.

The journey may not start like that, as we have great expectations on the road of motherhood, but it is like sometimes we come to a big rock blocking us, and a thief comes to steal some of our good things by making the journey so hard. We pick up what we’ve got left and keep going, and then we need to give it away to pay the price to go over the toll bridge. This would be daily life and the giving and giving and giving that for some, if not renewed can wear them down. By the time we get to the other side of the bridge we need to sit down and rest, and what have we got left? If we rest early, before we run out completely, we can sit and enjoy the view, recap on the journey, gather some extra supplies in our bag, and enjoy the road ahead merrily. However, if our bag becomes empty, a storm and grey clouds overshadow us; our life force can become depleted and dangerously low.

iStock_000001838900XPhone.jpgWe start to say things like “I am tired”, or “I need some help”, or lash out with a comment that we didn’t really mean. If detected early these things can be easily rectified. If no one is listening though, or the comments are brushed off, the tired signs ignored, and we need to push on regardless to look after our baby or toddler we can become run down, draw deeper on the spare fuel, the life force stored up inside and start to become depleted. If there is no refuelling station along the way, we run out of gas. But if we keep going a bit further, we can stretch ourselves for longer, a bit more, and a bit more, and then we can really become run down.

If we keep driving a car without repairing or maintaining it when it has a few subtle signs of needing a tune up, and ignore them, keep driving and driving, eventually, what would happen? The car would conk out if it had no gas (fuel), the wheels would fall off if not maintained or the motor would seize up and then need to be fixed. It is a bit like a woman’s body, where she runs out of energy and becomes too tired to do any more or sometimes the overload and stress can go onto the pelvic joints during and after pregnancy so that they experience pain. Other women keep going while ignoring the symptoms inside, and then the constant stress can show up with effects on the inside of the body. We need to pick these up BEFORE they become a problem, and learn to read the subtle signs of our body, the vehicle we travel in, on the road of life ahead.

Regular refuelling stops are important for mums, whether it be a cup of tea; a shoulder to cry on; a friendly listening ear so things don’t build up on the inside; time for you;  doing something that matters most; seeking support and advice from your doctor, health or exercise professional, or a trusted friend or family member.

Don’t keep things to yourself.
Find someone who will listen that is one thing not to give up on.

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