What matters most?

Written by: Dianne Edmonds Posted on 15 Nov 2012 0

It was interesting at a new mum’s group to hear the talk about postnatal adjustment and the changes the new mum’s experience, as they learn and grow with their baby.

Motherhood is an unfolding process, and a journey of discovery with its joys and challenges. One key point that came out, is the importance of knowing yourself and what matters most to you each day.

While it may be a great day if you woke up, had a shower, did your hair and makeup, had breakfast, a hot tea or coffee, rang a friend, checked Facebook, exercised, read a book, cooked a great meal, went shopping and ....had a pedicure, how likely is it for a mum with a new baby?

Now if you are reading this and you are pregnant or planning a pregnancy, don’t get put off, put on ‘the importance of getting to know yourself’ now mode. For the discussion went like this. “If there is one thing that is the most important to you to do most days, do you know what that is?” Numerous answers and examples came out, and they all stemmed from activities that gave something to each woman there or set the scene for day.  Looking back years later, the presenter remembered a woman who always commented on it being a good day, if she had made her bed. This didn’t appeal to the mum who felt more special when her nails were done, or the mum who felt best when she had her morning cup of tea. I myself remember how important having a shower was, even when in hospital after giving birth and eleven years later that is still important for me to feel ready for the day.

For some women it is simply getting dressed. I heard of someone with three young children at home whose health professional mum suggested that she wear leggings and a sweater to bed, so that when she got up in the morning, she would feel dressed until a time came in the day where she could have a shower. Now I know that this is not the case for everyone, but there are plenty of women who would testify to the times when it came to the end of the day and they really needed someone to take the baby so that they could have time to do one small thing for themselves.

If you work out what matters most today, and do those things first when possible, it can bring more satisfaction and fulfilment. Learn to make this a habit, doing something important to you more than once a day as your baby grows, and you may find the other daily tasks are easier to do. Often what happens is that all the other things get done first, and then if there is any time or energy left at the end of the day, this is what you get.  Do it the other way around, and stick to it if you are that sort of person already, and invest that nurturing time and energy into yourself. Remember, as a mother, you matter most. Look after yourself first, and it can help to balance the rest of your day.

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